Time flies when you’re watching football! Week 4 is already here – 3 teams without a loss, 4 teams without a win, and a lot of strong contenders in each division. LAST WEEK BEFORE PLAYERS START TO BYE AND LEAVE ALL OF OUR LINEUPS LOOKING GROSS! Rankings below:
1. Dak Lives Matter – Giovanni Franzese
Record: 3-0 / PF: 397 / Week 4 Matchup: Andrew Arney
How much do the analysts like this team on a scale of 1-10? 9.
Is this the best team Gio has ever had? I think so.
Does this team have AJ Brown waiting to come back and is STILL 3-0? Yep.
This is a very scary team when healthy, Brock Bowers is the new JSN and Bijan Robinson might be the greatest person to ever touch a football. PWash is a breakout star, Swift is good, Aaron Jones is being freed, and Braelon Allen is the new RB1 in New York. This team is the early frontrunner to win it all.
2. Herb Your Enthusiasm – Quin Davis
NO ONE GIVES A FUCK
3. Smack ’em and Sack ’em – Lance Taylor
Record: 3-0 / PF: 399 / Week 4 Matchup: Dave Carney
Did we expect Lance to get off to such a hot start? I mean maybe, he’s usually good until his whole team goes on IR.
Is Lance the “silent killer” of the league? Absolutely, 90% this kids texts in the GC are either shitting on Drake, shitting on CU, or cheering for Indiana.
Am I glad that Lance is in our league? Yes 🙂
Much like Gio’s team, Lance has an extremely deep squad. This team has MEATBALL SUB MAYE leading the way at QB and is still 3-0, that’s really all that needs to be said. Cheers Lance, great start to the season.
4. Life Begins at Concepcion – Reed Pike
Record: 2-1 / PF: 395 / Week 4 Matchup: Dillon Reisinger
Reed is in Amsterdam so if he reads this by some miracle and texts me the sentence “pound my ass daddy” I’ll give him $1 of FAAB.
5. Dave’s Washington Commandeses – Dave Carney
Record: 2-1 / PF: 349 / Week 4 Matchup: Lance Taylor
BIG MOVE UP HERE FOR DAVE I’M PUTTING RESPECT ON HIS NAME! Every god damn year it’s the same story, Dave drafts a team that no one likes, he starts off pretty bad, and then his 2-3 MVP players start going nuts and he gets some big wins. Let’s not forget that David was in the Championship game a mere 2 years ago….he might not know how to apply sunscreen, but he knows how to play fantasy football. Time for you to go get 1 of Lance’s 3 Washington Commandeses on the squad, it’s the only missing piece.
6. Four Guys Burgers and Fries – Jared Reiss
Record: 2-1 / PF: 357 / Week 4 Matchup: Jake Odenweller
I’m not really fond of JR’s team name, pokes fun at JD4. What I am a fan of is his activity in the group chat, he loves to chat it up from across the country. But then again, I’m REALLY not a fan of him stealing Kenyon Sadiq from me on the wire. So at the end of the day, this team falls at #6 in this week’s rankings. SMCJR.
7. Rice to Remain Silent – Jake Odenweller
Record: 1-2 / PF: 359 / Week 4 Matchup: Jared Reiss
This team is better than their 1-2 record. Are they good enough to be 2-1 instead? Ehhhh probably not, but they are better than their 1-2 record. We’ll see how the Baker injury effects Bucky, but the Chiefs players seem to be rolling along just fine. Jaylen Warren could be an EATER with Dowdle out, CMAC is still on this team, and there’s a drive into deep left field by Castellanos, it will be a home run. And so that’ll make it a 4-0 ballgame….
8. Griddy Griddy Bang Bang – Preston Karr
Record: 2-1 / PF: 317 / Week 4 Matchup: Evan Tooley
9 – 12. All of the teams that haven’t won a game yet
You guys can fight amongst yourselves for which 0-3 team is the best 0-3 team, but you have to start winning games for some analysis.
Cheers,
Commish